And another from Dave's Favorites:

Driving down a state road in Kansas (a different one!),
a driver notices a pig, standing all alone in a field. The pig has one wooden leg.
His curiousity aroused, he drives up to the farmhouse, and sees a farmer,
reading a newspaper. He says to the farmer, "Excuse me, but I just saw the
strangest thing... a pig with a wooden leg!" The farmer acknowledges this,
and proceeds to tell the man about this unusual event.
The farmer says, "I was out in my field, plowing and planting, when I hit a rut
and my tractor turned over and pinned me to the ground. I yelled for help,
to no avail. However, after a few minutes, my pig wandered up to the tractor
and began burrowing until he freed me!"
The man the asked the farmer, "That's amazing, but why the wooden leg?",
to which the farmer replied, "With a pig like that, you don't eat it all at once!"


posted by Dave at 12:39 AM

From Dave's Favorite Joke Collection:

Speeding down a state road in Kansas, the driver looks out the window and sees
a chicken overtaking the car. As it passes him, it makes a sharp right turn and
heads for a farmhouse.
The driver is amazed, slows down, turns around and heads for the very same farmhouse.
After pulling up the driveway, he encounters an old farmer sitting in his rocking chair.
He says to the farmer, "as that your chciken I just saw speeding by?"
The farmer replies, "Yep."
The driver says "that's the fastest chicken I've ever seen!"
The farmer says, "Uh huh... we raise three-legged chickens here."
The driver says, "That's unusual. How come?" and the farmer replies, "Well,
My wife, my son and I love chicken legs for dinner."
The driver asks, "How do they taste?", to which the farmer replies,
"Dunno... never caught one."

posted by Dave at 12:30 AM

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her night stand by the bed.
He begins to worry Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies,
snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says,
nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery."

Gayle

posted by Dave at 12:21 AM

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise".
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself,
the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes
looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises,
and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."......Ah, I'm so sorry," says the waiter,
"I brought you Peeking Duck"

Dave
posted by Dave at 2:30 PM

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can
anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

Ted Perzeszty


posted by Dave at 10:42 PM

Here is a chart, submitted by Harry Charles: Click Here^___>Humor from Harry
posted by Dave at 5:37 PM

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES... Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat .... been out a while. Better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

Submitted by Ted Perzeszty
posted by Dave at 12:56 AM